Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Opinionated Christian

As a former member of the visible Christian music community I have a few thousand Facebook friends who are very Christian....and by "Very Christian" I mean pictures of Lions with scripture references and massive opinions on every single thing that a conservative believer with a hand sewn bible cover would want to shout in CAPS from their status update.

I'm going to cut so fast to the chase here. I'm so incredibly exhausted with the finger pointing gate keepers of the heaven's. It's absolutely insane to me that people feel so turbo charged about their self given hierarchy within some sort of faith royalty.  It's as if they feel they are draped underneath an invisibility cloak that was created by this religious mindset to empower them to determine someones eternal destiny and standing with God.

When does this end????

My boyfriend said it so simply yesterday when we were discussing the outpouring of opinions that have been thrown with Chick-Fil-A nuggets straight at Dan Hastletine's Face.... He said "Why isn't love at the forefront"? Simple enough.

I was a product of the typical minsters family. You know, the parents who are "called" to save the souls within the four walls of their chosen place of worship. They read up on weekly devotions and craft emotionally compelling words of wisdom that would send a sinner straight up the aisle of redemption.  They would judge other believers with sayings like....

* Luke Warm Christian

* Seeker Sensitive Churches

* Baby Food eaters not getting "the meat" of the word

* Playing the fence

* not "sold out"

I could go on and on......

Ohhhhh.... if you can recite the words to "Father Abraham" and "Take back what he stole" from you, then you have definitely heard all of this.

We all have strong opinions these days. As a non farm-raised corn fed Christian who was brought up with very specific beliefs from the time my hands could go "deep and wide",  you quickly reach a point of confusion as to what it is "YOU" truly believe.

All of this to say, to the finger pointers, the sermon creators, the banner wavers, the youth directors, the counselors, the protesters and the gate keepers, are you loving your family? Your Church and home family? Are your children being given as much time and energy as you have put into judging the hearts of those around you? In my unfortunate history, the answer has been a big fat King James, NO!

Instead of judging others, why not go hug someone? Instead of making the Gay community feel like you are throwing Duraflame logs into a lake of fire that awaits them, why not show massive amounts of love??

Why hasn't love been at the forefront?????

Years ago I received a phone call that ALL the Lifeway Bookstores had taken my CD's off the shelves because I was pregnant out of wedlock with my ridiculously beautiful daughter Jaslyn. Instead of being happy for my choice at life.....or sending me a much needed care package of additional diapers or help books on how to raise a child in your teens, I was simply discarded as a disappointment to the community. Had love been at the forefront of all the Christians who surrounded me, I may have not run as far away from Christianity as I did. It is love that brings people in and gets them through. Rejection and judgment will continue to make Christianity a joke and a dying breed.

I'm hitting many different areas here. I know.

I will try and wrap it with a few key points.....

* Your ministry is to put your family first.

* Keep buying "Jars of Clay" albums and make yourself feel better with a Chik-fil-a Sandwich.

* Think of ways to love people and bring them in without shutting them out.

There was an old song that I grew up hearing that was played with an E minor along with "Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord".....;

It said-

Love. Love. Love. Love.

Christians this is your call.

Love thy neighbor as thyself for God loves all.

Get back to the basics.

P.S.... I'll post a lion pic outta sheer love for my FB Fam... :)


  1. I'm going to have to digress a bit, being a minister, Nik. Now you know I found what was done to you as butt ugly and totally un-Christian. I told you that I'm the product of an out-of-wedlock relationship and have never seen my birth father.

    I have friends who are Gay, but I will never condone that lifestyle. The Bible is clear on what God says about it and I find Dan's quote of "not caring what the Bible says" is ridiculous! We can't take what we like and throw out what we don't. Truth is truth.

    I don't like condemnatory people elevating one sin over another and it is the GRACE of God that saves us all. With that said, it is that SAME grace that gives us the ability, by the Holy Spirit, to overcome those sins. Homosexual, Liar, Fornicator, Murderer...Paul says, "Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:11.

  2. Haha! I loved every word of this! I remember my Mom and I ran into your Mom at a Pizza place in La Sierra shortly after you found out you were pregnant. Your mom told us about it and I could tell she was anticipating my mom saying something real cruel and "Christian" but instead she said " well you know what? Now she will have an even greater testimony!" And look at you now! :-) keep going!

    Also, I'm totally with you on the not discussing your own opinions. I have friends that are gay and we don't even talk about it. We just care and love for each other. In the end that's all anyone needs. It's not my place to judge them or tell them what is right and what is wrong.

  3. Tough stuff Nikki. Being enveloped by the music biz for many years now, I've seen what many have not had the avenue to "see." Most of it, on the mainstream and Christian sides of the picket fence have let artists down on a lot of levels. Some stories are BRUTAL. Life altering. Debilitating. Even physically/emotionally damaging. Such is your life story. And that is simply frustrating to many - including me.

    What was done, or not done, on your behalf at the appointed time was WRONG. Plain and simple.

    If we would all try to emulate Jesus, instead of pointing fingers ... or not lifting up a sister who has hit a hard spot in life ... or simply offer a helping hand, the world would be a much better place. Christ came to serve and save - not condemn and push down. He loved and spoke to the unlovely of His time on Earth. That should be ALL of our goals.

    And if no one has ever said it, many of us in the "industry" are very sorry for what took place after your pregnancy. Whatever took place you did not deserve it. I wasn't personally aware of it, until well after the fact. And I obviously didn't get it, as I played several songs from your first national release on the radio. It was good music and delivered well. That's all I needed to know. :)

    Love is definitely the answer. Show love and you'll win some. Keep smiling and beating the drum of love. All the best to you!

  4. Word! I am a recovering PK and love your honesty!

  5. This is lovely. Also occasionally hilarious. Thanks and love.

    And lions. Don't forget the lions.

  6. I love this Nikki. Can totally relate. I'd love to speak with you about my story someday, you're definitely not alone.

  7. i saw that you had written a blog and wondered what happened to you. sung one of your songs as a young girl. I'm terribly sorry for what that christian community did to you. Its always easy to talk about what other people arent doing enough of or judging someone elses lifestyle, but never ever step out and show love. Love isnt tolerance of ones sin or lifestyle love is being patient, longsuffering, getting your hands dirty with someone elses issues and helping them through it. i hope you were able to find healing and restoration again. People are not easy to deal with, but its the more reason why we need to to find our identity in God and have compassion.

    Blessings Nikki and thanks for sharing with us :)

  8. I just found your blog after seeing you on TV. I wondered what happened and where your music was! I love your heart ! From one recovering hurt Christian to another ... thank you! If you have never heard about Andrew Farley, you should look him up. He has written several books - The Naked Gospel and Relaxing With God are two of them. They helped me overcome the legalism in my life. Thanks Again! - Blake