I live my life in the middle of the Entertainment Industry. It's safe to say that I see it all: the good, the bad and the extremely ugly. I've been a permanent fixture of the Los Angeles community since 2007 and I can firmly say that I live in the greatest state in America! The weather is a constant reminder of the beauty of the West Coast. I was flipping through my friends pictures who are experiencing a light snow in Colorado and it's just SEPTEMBER?????!!! What???!!!!
This town can immediately suck a girl in! I came here from Nashville and sported a short A-Line bob that would rival John & Kate plus 28... I was a huge fan of TJ-Maxx (still am) and never heard of Chanel or Loubutins.
Shortly after my arrival back to the West Coast I was sucked into the Music Industry again and on my way into a NEW life in the Hollywood scene.
My new writing and recording crew decided I needed a makeover. Sure, I did... However, I didn't realize what this would take and how much money it would cost.
It started with my hair... Now I had a short bob to my chin so length was first on their list. I was brought into one of the best salons in Beverly Hills for hair extensions from Italy... That good ol' Italian hair. I sat in the salon chair for 15 hours. NO JOKE. 15 hours while beautiful long hair was individually fused into my southern scalp. They brought in a color analyst to pick hair color best for my skin tone. I actually still splurge on this guy cause he does an incredible colorist. They even brought in a makeup artist that day to do a test on my face. This was so they could see how the whole look would come together. I walked in the back of the salon and they had my new 4 thousand dollar Chanel purse laying there with piles of clothes from the latest designers. I was in shock and really excited.
There I was. I had been completely SUCKED IN.
It became a thing for me. How can I keep up with this look every single day and not wear the wrong thing?!
So many times I hear girls in this town about what a guy does, what he drives, how much he makes, and what they can do for them... AND it makes me sick inside my stomach. They're just waiting to be gifted the newest Louis Vuitton, Chanel Bag, Loubutin shoes or whatever makes them feel more valuable.
I remember those days. I didn't grow up wanting those things but I ended up having them. My closet was full of shoes from Stella Mccartney, YSL and I boasted 30 some odd pairs of Loubutins. I had Marchesa, Prada, Gucci, YSL, Chanel, Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, Oscar de la Renta and Zac Posen dresses out the booty. You know what???
No amount of dresses or purses could fill the emptiness and loneliness within my heart. You think you want all of that, but at the end of the day, a general discontentment of the soul will remain empty even if your closet is full.
I opened my drawer today... I don't put nice sunnies or expensive jewelry in my "Important Drawer" anymore. I find the most important things to protect are the words that give life to my heart and make everything else seem worthless.
I look at my weathered shoes that made me slip a few million times and let's face it, Loubutins are the most uncomfortable shoes to wear on the daily. They don't last and they end up being SO LAST SEASON!!
(I would say its great to buy a nice handbag though... lol. Those things last for years and are worth the investment and they hold their worth depending on the brand)
1) When he writes to me, "You're my most beautiful treasure," I can put on my Dodger's cap and ripped up jeans only to feel more beautiful than any Vera Wang bridal gown.
2) When he says, "You are my one and only," I believe it more than I have ever believed in or trusted anyone else. You see, the men who rely on fancy extravagance to win over a woman's heart aren't always the ones you trust when you're laying your head down at night. His words give me a peace that things can't give.
3) When he says, "I am so proud of the woman that you are," I know that I don't have to live up to some unrealistic standard of weight, size, build; or try to look like a VS model. He is speaking meaningful words that bring valuable security to my heart. I'm more secure in my love with him than wearing two Spanx under a short party dress. (Two Spanx really is amazing for the extra hormonal days) :)
4) When he says, "You are God's gift to me," I have more joy in my heart than gazing across a shoe closet of shiny red bottoms.
5) I promise you that when you are loved from the inside out and not the outside in you can completely disregard the overwhelming need for material things. If you are in constant need of a fix or a shiny new gift to feel joy in your life then I would venture to say you are not experiencing the fullness of authentic love. I would also argue that you need to dig deeper into your soul and connect to the missing pieces. I find that fulfillment in a relationship with God and through the words and commitment of my amazing man.